UNC-Wilmington criminal justice professor and practising gadfly Mike Adams has launched his latest salvo against the administrative absurdities that characterize his school's pursuit of multicultural perfection. In a letter to a retiring university chancellor, Adams nominates himself for the office of campus Director of Diversity:

You may be wondering why I am writing you on the last day of your thirteen-year tenure as Chancellor of UNC-Wilmington. Having just read the recent Supreme Court decision upholding affirmative action in higher education, I just learned that public universities have a compelling interest in diversity that occasionally trumps rights actually written in the U.S. Constitution. Therefore, I thought I would give you a chance to leave behind a legacy of true diversity by appointing me as the new Director of the Office of Campus Diversity before you retire later this afternoon.

As a conservative, pro-life Republican and a member of the NRA, you have to admit that I am perfect for the job. Who else could bring such a fresh new perspective to an office that has focused solely on left-wing politics for the better part of a decade? In case you arenít convinced, let me tell you more about myself.

My interest in diversity issues began in April of 1993 when I was applying for teaching jobs and was told by another university that I would probably not be hired unless the other candidate for the position, a black male, turned down their offer. I thought that was unfair so I withdrew my candidacy. Since taking a job at UNCW I have sat through job searches where applicants were criticized or rejected because they were ìtoo white male,î ìtoo religious,î or ìtoo conservative.î As the new Director of Diversity, I plan to meet with all department chairs on campus to make sure that kind of thing never happens again.