"What books have you given to friends or loved ones only to find out that they couldn't care less about them, and how much of a disappointment has that been? Similarly, what books have you been given that you just can't get around to or bring yourself to read, and why?"

I've given a couple of people the Connie Willis novel "Lincoln's Dreams," but they were nowhere near as impressed with it as I was.

(I bet *you'd* like it, though, Erin)

I gave one associate of my son, a young man muchly into anime, comics and video games, a copy of Neuromancer. My son adored the image I read to him:
"His ugliness was the stuff of legend. In an age of affordable beauty, there was something heraldic about his lack of it."
but neither of them are up for the effort of reading the book.

My mother pushed "A Confederacy Of Dunces", the book which inspired this question, and "The Tenants of Moonbloom" on me, swearing that both were hilarious. The only evidence she offered was that in one of them someone farted. I expect never to read either of them.

Ok, I sent a friend A Prayer for Owen Meaney and she hated it and won't read anything by Irving because of it. He's not exactly the best, but I think he should be read.

So now I'm all guilty. This friend is someone who introduced me to Somerset Maugham and many others, and the best I could do was Garp.

Damn.

Rebecca West's novel "The Fountain Overflows" is my favorite novel of all time, but though I have made at least 4-5 people read it over the years, nobody seems struck by it in the way that I am.

I have been given several different novels by Paolo Coelho that I can't stomach reading! Another book that I can't bear to face is Mark Danielewski's "House of Leaves," which came highly recommended.

Received as gift, but never read:

1) Zuleika Dobson. The pity is, I know I would like it.

2) Rumpole books. Ditto.

3) A Shostakovitch biography.

Gave wihtout hearing anything back:

1) Emerson's Essays. The pity is, I know they'd like it.

2) Willa Cather, My Antonia. Given in spite, to illustrate her "sandiness". I think the receiver agreed without reading it.

Moses Hadas, a professor of Classics at Columbia University in NYC for many years, used to write this note to those who sent him books to read or review:

"Dear Soandso,

Thank you very much for sending me this book. I'll waste no time reading it."

I , too , try to give peple Connie Willis. But I can't read Jane Smiley and my sister in law gives me a new one every Christmas. She used to give me Joyce Carol Oates--can anyone read her?

I have received _Sophie's_World_ (I think it is--young girl, letter, philosophy type stuff) twice, begun it twice, and simply been so bored that I never finished. It seemed kind of twee.

I've been given _Fugitive Pieces_, and could never get into it, and I hate every novel that Ondaatje has ever written (I was given _The Collected Stories of Billy the Kid_, but have tried to read his other books as well). I do like his poetry, though.

In unsuccessful books I gave, there was _Art & Lies_ (Jeanette Winterson), which was mostly but not always liked by people I gave it to.

I have recommended Nabokov's "Pale Fire" to many people, and not one of them could finish it.

I love Connie Willis.

My aunt recently gave me "The Radetsky March," which she had read in her youth in Vienna, and I couldn't get more than 3 pages into it.

However, when I was a kid she sent me books published by her employer (she was a children's book editor) which included "The Prisoner of Zenda" and "The Trumpeter of Cracow" and "Gaudenzia," all of which I loved.

I have suppressed all painful memories of giving books to people that they didn't read.

"I hate every novel that Ondaatje has ever written"

I really liked "Running in the Family" but it's not a novel. It has photos and poetry in it.

At the risk of revealing my own egotism, I get really ticked off when I give people copies of fiction I've written, and they never read it or make any comment about it.

One anecdote suffices: after completing a master's at JHU, I never showed anybody any of my fiction, vowing never to do so until it got published for real.

I accidentally revealed a secret about a lady friend to another friend, who went on to blab it to about 20 other people (it wasn't that awful; it was just a secret engagement that actually fell apart later on). She was steamed at me at the time, and I was profusely apologetic. As a sign of my penitence, I decided to break my rule of not showing anybody anything I'd written. It was a major allowance I made. For 15 straight years, I had not showed my writing to anyone, and I even told her that to impress upon her how rare this privilege was (oh, I was so full of it).

She never acknowledged reading the story and never even mentioned it. She reads a lot and has relatively good tastes. Perhaps she thought it stunk (that was impossible; it was one of my most entertaining stories, I had thought). Perhaps she just forgot. We still are good friends, and I never have brought up this slight she made with her silence.

She is a flute player and performs regularly. Last April I visited her and her husband and child and of course saw her perform. although I complimented her playing, when I turned the conversation to some other topic, she interrupted me and said, "wait, you haven't finished telling me what you thought about my performance."

I would have loved to shout out, "And you never told me whether you liked that story I sent to you 12 years ago!" But alas, I didn't.

I learned a valuable lesson that day. To nonliterary people, they just don't think reading your writing (or giving feedback)is that big a deal. Even literary friends of mine rarely get around to reading half the things I've written when I email them a link. I've gotten to the point where I just post straight to the web and no longer send helpful links to my stuff--because I know almost nobody will actually read these links. (sigh!)(although my literary friends tend to be more responsive).

Now to answer your question properly, I have given the video "Hear my Song" to many people, and nobody has watched it. It's kind of an Irish "Singing in the Rain". It's always hit and miss when you give a literary work to another literary friend (since nobody reads anything these days anyway). A friend once gave me a Jeeves book, and although I trusted her taste completely, I just never got around to reading it. Luckily, 10 years later I came across it and loved it (and made it a point to commend her on her recommendation).

I've been given the Thomas Covenant series and never read it. Although the person who gave it to me is a much loved friend, a main premise in the books (which had been recommended by other friends) is one I don't deal with well.

I also have several modern novels which I've been given and haven't read. I keep thinking I'll get around to them, but I don't.

Because of this habit of not reading novels, I rarely give novels away. Sixteen or so years ago I did give out multiple copies of a novel, which everyone read because it was hot in our circles. Usually I give away nonfiction works.