In the category of "you can't make this stuff up":

LINCOLN, Neb. - English professor Frances Kaye said she was talking about the wonders of childbirth.

But the way it came across on rocker Tommy Lee's reality show Tuesday night, it appeared she was espousing the wonders of Lee's private parts.

Kaye is not amused.

The University of Nebraska-Lincoln professor said she believes producers of the "Tommy Lee Goes to College" show lied to her about how they would use footage shot last fall during her Native American literature class.

Her anger stems from a scene in which her class is discussing Lee's autobiography. Kaye appears to tell the class that the book's opening - a pretend conversation between Lee and his penis - is a beautiful and enduring symbol.

Lee is then shown grinning wryly.

In reality, Kaye said, she was talking about childbirth, another subject broached in Lee's book.

That comment was edited into the discussion about the first chapter, Kaye said.

"I was saying something serious about Native American literature, and they made it into something trivial and stupid about Tommy Lee's penis," she said. "I realized this was a stupid reality show, but I didn't expect to be this grossly misrepresented."

Kaye is crafting a response that Chancellor Harvey Perlman has pledged to distribute to UNL faculty and students.

"I think her concern about the representation of her class as not accurate is certainly legitimate," Perlman said. "I don't think the overall impression of the show is in any way an insult to her or the rest of the faculty."

Moral of the story?

Perhaps something along the lines of any reasonable person knowing that the show was going to be deliberately sleezy and the university should have expected this (and worse).

People who house classes shouldn't show bones.

Perlman's statement, as quoted, makes no sense and is indeed self-contradictory.

No, that sounds like Perlman. This is a guy who was hired precisely because he was a mediocrity and double-talker. UNL academically has been sliding for a long time. They desperately needed to get leadership that was not locked into the mentality of managed decline. Instead, they went with the inside candidate Perlman, who would quietly preside over a slowly sinking ship.

I was in class that day, and she was definitiely talking about Tommy Lee's penis. She can deny it all she wants, but those of us who were there know better.

Moral: if a reality show producer offers to film you at work, and you don't want to be made to look like an idiot (or worse), don't sign the consent form.

(Independent George: hee!)